Reflections after a quarter of the way

    I have made it to my first big milestone since Pete's deployment: I am officially a quarter of the way there.  It is hard to believe that it has already been three months since Pete left, and at the same time, it is hard to believe that I still have 75% of the deployment left to go.  While I wish that I could say that time has flown by I can honestly say that it hasn't.  A year is a long time to be away from your best friend/husband and that fact won't change but I can say that I am learning how to handle this new lifestyle that I have no choice to lead.  I still get sad when I come home to an empty home, or when I make a nice dinner and have nobody to share it with, or when I something crazy happens at work and all I want to do is tell Pete all about it, or to have someone to kiss goodnight.  These are the times when it is hardest but I have come to realize these things will continue throughout this year and I have accepted that fact.  It is okay to be sad, it is okay to miss my husband however it is not okay to waste a year of my life and not be happy.  I have learned that it is possible to miss someone with everything that I am and still be okay.  In fact, I am better than okay, I am loved and blessed and that won't change no matter how far away Pete is or how long we are apart.  My family and friends have been incredible and have shown me that they are going through this year with me, not just as bystanders.  I have a job that I enjoy, I have really wonderful coworkers that I adore working with, I have been able to stay busy and explore this massive state of Alaska.  I have built a life here that I have done pretty much solo, none of my coworkers have met Pete but they have extended their friendship to me and made me realize that I am able to bring happiness to others even when they don't know the most important thing about me.   This might not seem that enlightening to most people however three months ago I had serious doubts about how I was going to get through this year without friends and family close by.  I can now say that I am doing it, day by day, week by week, and I am making the most out of this time.  I have gained confidence in my ability to meet others. While a quarter of the way may not seem like much, to me it is a tremendous milestone and I am that much closer to having my best friend safe and home with his family.